Originally published at https://ideapod.com/taking-a-break-from-relationship/
Relationships are full of wonder and intimate moments that can make life worth living, but more often than not, people find themselves in a relationship that doesn’t feel right anymore.
For one reason or another, you might find yourself face-to-face with a partner who is not living up to your expectations, or that you are not living up to theirs.
You might find yourself wondering whether or not this relationship is right for you on a regular basis, but are thwarted with doubt and decide to stay for the hell of it.
If you are on the fence and aren’t sure whether or not it’s time to take a break, these eight scenarios can help you decide if it’s time to take a break in your relationship.
1) You can’t seem to cut the crap.
If you are fighting like cats and dogs and things aren’t getting better, it might be time to take a break.
More importantly, if you find yourself starting fights because you know that you won’t be talking to each other if you aren’t fighting, that’s a good time to throw in the towel.
If you are just walking on eggshells waiting for the next big blowout, consider your relationship doomed and schedule a break as soon as possible.
Whether you get back together or not is not what is important here; what’s important here is that you take time to figure out what you are really fighting about and where that anger is coming from.
2) You have a lot of doubts about whether or not this is working.
Sometimes, you might find yourself daydreaming about what life would be like if you weren’t in this relationship.
If you threaten to leave or talk about leaving and declare that your relationship is in trouble, a break might do you some good.
Breaks don’t have to mean the be all and end all about your relationship, but rather, they give you space and time to figure out if this relationship is still important to you.
A lot of people, especially married people, don’t ever ask the question, “do i still want to be with this person?” after having been with them for so long already.
We assume that the best course of action is to keep investing time and energy into a relationship, but a break might show you that you aren’t really good together.
3) You’ve been cheated on.
Look, being cheated on sucks. Even if you are deeply in love and can’t imagine living your life without this person, take some time to figure things out on your own.
A break might be just what you need to clear your head and think about what you will get out of going back to the relationship if you decide that is the right thing to do.
If you find that your partner has been sleeping around, you are going to need a lot of time to think about how your life will be different, how your relationship will be different, and whether or not you really want to start things up again.
You might try to figure this stuff out while still being in the relationship, but you’ll find that the more space you give yourself, the more honest you can be about your feelings.
4) You’re feeling alone.
If you are in a relationship and feel like you are all alone anyway, it might be better to just be alone.
There’s only one way to find out: take some time apart to reconsider what your relationship is all about and what you are getting out of it.
If you aren’t sure that going forward together is the best thing and you aren’t getting what you need from the relationship, parting ways might be best for both of you.
Being alone in a relationship is much worse than being alone on your own. At least when you are alone, you are in charge of your life.
Being lonely makes you feel like a victim. It’s never easy to call it quits, so if you want more time to figure it out, take the time you need.
If your partner isn’t willing to put the work in to figure things out, well, you’ll have your answer about the strength and importance of your relationship. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it might be worth learning to find yourself again.
5) You’ve fought the same fights over and over again.
If you find that you and your partner are arguing over the same things all the time and the outcome is not changing, it might be time to take a break.
You might find that some time apart from one another gives you an opportunity to make up your own minds and to develop your own opinions about things.
When couples spend a lot of time together, especially if they started dating at a very young age, they can begin to develop a likeness that makes it impossible for one or the other to be different.
Spending some time apart can actually strengthen your relationship, instead of making it weaker.
6) You need to focus on yourself for a while.
If you are struggling to give your partner the attention they deserve, you might consider taking a break from the relationship for a while to give yourself the attention you deserve.
You need to do this without feeling guilty and you need to talk to your partner openly and honestly about these feelings. A weekend away is probably not going to cut it.
In many instances, you may find that a trip or assignment at work might be what is needed to figure your own things out and get back on track.
When you are feeling refreshed or realigned, you might find that you can begin to give your partner the attention you once did.
This is not entirely uncommon as people change over the years and need to figure themselves out at different points.
7) You miss your friends.
Fear of missing out is a real thing for people who have been in a relationship for a long time.
It’s hard to tell why so many people want to relive their glory days or live them for the first time when they are in a relationship for some time, but it’s been known to happen.
If you find yourself longing for when things were simpler and it was just you and the girls or guys that once were, it’s time for a conversation with your partner about what’s missing from your life.
You don’t need to throw your relationship out the window to try to have some fun; you might find that some time apart to do your own thing is just what the doctor ordered.
8) The relationship is moving at warp speed.
Sometimes, you find yourself pulling away from a relationship because it’s exactly what you want and it’s going swimmingly.
Although we all want to be loved and in a cherished relationship, sometimes we can’t handle the success we find in the things we strive for.
If you have everything you want and you find yourself resisting it, you might need to slow your roll and give yourself some time and space to figure out what you are really afraid of.
Just because this relationship is what you wanted from the start doesn’t mean that you still want that same thing now.
Check in with yourself as your relationship progresses and figure out what is best for you as you go.
Some couples think that they only have two options when it comes to being in a relationship: you can either be in the relationship or you can call it quits.
These days, relationships come in all shapes and sizes and can come about and end in the most interesting ways.
This also means that relationship dynamics can have all kinds of different forms and can be designed to fit your lifestyle, not the expectations of others.
Instead of trying to think about what other people would do, try focusing on what the two of you want to do.
You might find that taking a break is the best way to figure out your future, and if that works for you, then it doesn’t matter what other people think.