Breaking these 9 habits will make you happier


#1

Originally published at https://ideapod.com/9-toxic-attitudes-push-happiness-away/

It’s no secret that we all want to be happy. After all, we only get life once and we want to make the most of it.

But most of us find that happiness is fleeting. Why? Because we believe that happiness means being joyful, or excited.

Yet these are temporary feelings that don’t last forever. True happiness comes from being at peace with who you are and what you have in life.

Yet, a lot of us have habits that that reinforce the former idea of happiness that doesn’t really offer much permanent fulfilment to our lives.

Below we’ve gone over 9 attitudes that Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, says you need to get rid of you want to be authentically happy.

1) Giving in to fear.

Being scared of fear means you’re not accepting your emotions. Fear is an emotion that’s fuelled by your imagination. Danger is real. Fear is a choice. When you become mindful of your emotions and observe them from a distance, you’ll realize that they’re not really you and that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

2) Comparing yourself to others.

There’s nothing more useless or damaging than comparing yourself to others. It means that you’re struggling to accept who you are. But acceptance is crucial if you want to be happy. According to spiritual guru Osho, you need to realize that you’re unique and beautiful human being and there’s no need to compare:

“You are a masterpiece – unrepeatable, incomparable, utterly unique. Respect your uniqueness, and drop comparison. Relax into your being.” – Osho

3) Hanging around negative people.

You know the type of person that wallows in their problems and fails to focus on solutions? You need to stay away from them. It’s simply a ball of negative energy that feeds on itself. It’s better to be around people who are authentic, positive and non-judgmental.

4) Trying to impress others.

The fact that you’re trying to impress others means you’re not happy with who you are. You’re seeking validation from outside factors that you have no control over. And even if people are impressed with you, are you really going to be happy deep down? The only way to be truly happy is to be impressed with yourself.

5) Complaining.

This only serves to reinforce a negative attitude. Sometimes it can help to take a step back and see life for what it is, rather than assigning a negative label to it. Instead of complaining, try switching the attitude to one of gratitude and appreciation.

6) Criticizing.

People tend to criticize others because it makes them feel better about themselves. Yet this is a habit that comes directly from the ego. All this will do is create a spiral of negativity that will make you more judgemental and unhappy with yourself.

7) Blaming.

We need to take responsibility for our own lives to be happy. Blaming signifies that you aren’t walking life’s path yourself. It’s time to take a step back and look inside yourself instead of blaming others.

8) Isolating yourself.

Yes, it’s important to get away from aggressive and toxic people. But you can’t shut everyone off, even when you feel down. Human beings are social creatures and we all need meaningful and authentic relationships to be truly happy.

9) Immunity to awe

Awe is an amazing emotion that makes you grateful for life as well appreciate the present moment. One of the best ways to experience awe is to get out in nature. It’s inspiring, full of wonder and reminds us that we’re not the center of the world.

This article was originally published on Hack Spirit.


#2

Comment savoir si nous sommes engagés sur la bonne voie ? Trouver un sens alors qu’il n’y en a pas !!!


#3

#4

Thank you for the interesting article. I like to think of the pursuit of happiness as folly. The reason in my view that happiness is what it is , is because of other relative human experiences. If we were all permanently happy, then it wouldn’t be happy anymore, just an emotional stance within a world of movement and motion.
Additionally, the " we only have one life " premise is in hubris because we don’t know what this life is or where our life breath came from, not that we have a choice but to be in hubris, but , if we acknowledge hubris in real time then on a fundamental level, it isn’t hubris anymore.


#5

@Csmith I agree that the pursuit of happiness is not worth it. Rather, it makes sense to pursue a life of meaning or fulfilment. Happiness is something that naturally arises. We can’t control our happiness with our minds. Glad the article resonated with you.

@ML1 sorry I don’t speak French!


#6

Trying to impress.
A wonderful example of not trying to impress is my wife, who has done a selfless job in the community and was rewarded with an OAM which she refuses to wear because she does not believe in trying to impress.

Blaming
Our families went through a traumatic time but realised that to blame others would be a negative product not only to us but also eventually our children and grandchildren. We just got on with life. There was always in the back of our minds that blame should be assigned to others but with the strong support of the families we began normal lives and realised for the first time perhaps that family and health were the only things in life.

I am often in awe of people who seem ordinary and achieve great things in life and often wonder how some people, after seeing the complex way in which nature presents itself to us cannot believe there must be a superior being orchestrating our existence, our universe and our lives


#7

Sometimes some of these habits are not only good but necessary. For all my professional life I was working at development and quality assurance. It was required that I worked independently, that I looked for faults, be critical of products or a process or even team members. People tended to avoid me as I seldom brought them good news. Some people did understand my role in the company and appreciated what I did. Bugs and evil designs or a lousy process cost everyone, time, money, reputation, even the business. Anything you do, a skill, a habit, an experience all must become part of your life survival kit. The issues listed not involving my profession were never part of me; my view of the world, the universe was different for me since I learned to read. Ideapod has so many basket cases they can help, do such miserable (their self-opinion) people incline to surf by the Pod Home?