Originally published at https://ideapod.com/9-toxic-attitudes-push-happiness-away/
It’s no secret that we all want to be happy. After all, we only get life once and we want to make the most of it.
But most of us find that happiness is fleeting. Why? Because we believe that happiness means being joyful, or excited.
Yet these are temporary feelings that don’t last forever. True happiness comes from being at peace with who you are and what you have in life.
Yet, a lot of us have habits that that reinforce the former idea of happiness that doesn’t really offer much permanent fulfilment to our lives.
Below we’ve gone over 9 attitudes that Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, says you need to get rid of you want to be authentically happy.
1) Giving in to fear.
Being scared of fear means you’re not accepting your emotions. Fear is an emotion that’s fuelled by your imagination. Danger is real. Fear is a choice. When you become mindful of your emotions and observe them from a distance, you’ll realize that they’re not really you and that there’s nothing to be afraid of.
2) Comparing yourself to others.
There’s nothing more useless or damaging than comparing yourself to others. It means that you’re struggling to accept who you are. But acceptance is crucial if you want to be happy. According to spiritual guru Osho, you need to realize that you’re unique and beautiful human being and there’s no need to compare:
“You are a masterpiece – unrepeatable, incomparable, utterly unique. Respect your uniqueness, and drop comparison. Relax into your being.” – Osho
3) Hanging around negative people.
You know the type of person that wallows in their problems and fails to focus on solutions? You need to stay away from them. It’s simply a ball of negative energy that feeds on itself. It’s better to be around people who are authentic, positive and non-judgmental.
4) Trying to impress others.
The fact that you’re trying to impress others means you’re not happy with who you are. You’re seeking validation from outside factors that you have no control over. And even if people are impressed with you, are you really going to be happy deep down? The only way to be truly happy is to be impressed with yourself.
This only serves to reinforce a negative attitude. Sometimes it can help to take a step back and see life for what it is, rather than assigning a negative label to it. Instead of complaining, try switching the attitude to one of gratitude and appreciation.
People tend to criticize others because it makes them feel better about themselves. Yet this is a habit that comes directly from the ego. All this will do is create a spiral of negativity that will make you more judgemental and unhappy with yourself.
We need to take responsibility for our own lives to be happy. Blaming signifies that you aren’t walking life’s path yourself. It’s time to take a step back and look inside yourself instead of blaming others.
8) Isolating yourself.
Yes, it’s important to get away from aggressive and toxic people. But you can’t shut everyone off, even when you feel down. Human beings are social creatures and we all need meaningful and authentic relationships to be truly happy.
9) Immunity to awe
Awe is an amazing emotion that makes you grateful for life as well appreciate the present moment. One of the best ways to experience awe is to get out in nature. It’s inspiring, full of wonder and reminds us that we’re not the center of the world.
This article was originally published on Hack Spirit.