Thank you for asking @justinbrown
I appreciate the effort they put into this decision of changing their relationship and the open sharing way they addressed it with their friends/employees. As with all things we need to consider context… in this case they needed to do this this way as they are the founders of a company they share with others and need to make sure their personal lives do not rock the boat of their venture and employees.
In all of this I think the challenge is the language we use to describe what is happening and how this language fits into the culture and affects our thinking about what we are hearing. Marriage and divorce are tangled up in the mire of understanding. The expectations these words carry. The disappointment they may deliver. The meaning we make of them.
Most people speak of the journey of love being that of when when they first met something triggered this #senseof love and everything grew from this genesis and set their ship a sail.
Deborah and I had a different experience for our journey together. Back in the eighties we had a mutual friend who told us each we should meet. He saw something tribal in our family backgrounds with a common thread. It was five years thereafter before I actually showed up on Deborah’s doorstep. From there it was a friendship seeded by another who saw something we didn’t even know existed, yet.
This friendship grew even while I was gone again for another five years living overseas and involved in other relationships. The visits between back to California were long nights of creativity and playing, nurturing a special relationship then disappearing again.
When I landed back in the US and on Deborah’s sofa I had the opportunity to help her grow her business which developed into another business as an integral component to our intertwining.
Then along came an unexpected but welcomed pregnancy and a deeply felt loss after a few months. This strengthen our bond and shared experience of life and having to give back and let go of expectations.
Soon thereafter we were blessed with Zoe and four years later Sofia.
So here we were with an evolving friendship, a new business, two beautiful little girls, a blossoming respect for each other, who we are as individuals working together, eventually got married, and now a family.
Fast forward to now. Our girls are mature, on the move, and not so dependent on us. Our business has also matured and may not be so dependent on us any longer.
This leaves a new #senseof of the path ahead. We have wandered a long road of an evolving love and respect for each other all the while allowing each other to carry forth who we are as individuals within the context of us.
How else could it be that I have been blessed with four very special women in my life who I have befriended, lived and worked with, loved and know they are a deep part of my existence.
And here is Deborah now loving friends with the other three.
If who we are is more than the sum of each individual part and we can be open to this and make space for this concept, loose the jealousy and expand the love…
What more is there.
Life is never in stasis. We would be doing a disservice to ourselves and those we love to hold an expectation of sorts.
Life is love…all of it.