Originally published at https://ideapod.com/10-reasons-men-cant-handle-empath/
The empath: the person who understands your pain, your joy and everything in between.
Their big heart gives too much, even though they receive too little.
They’ll love you unconditionally and protect your emotions at all costs.
Sounds like the perfect person, right? So, why are so many empaths single?
Simple. Most people simply can’t handle an empath’s complexity, depth and powerful capacity for love.
If you didn’t know, an empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy/moods/emotions of people and situations to the point where they can take on those emotions as their own.
And even though their superpowers come with a range of strengths, most people, especially insecure ones, simply can’t handle them. Here’s why:
1) Empaths Ask Too Many Questions
People, in general, don’t like to contemplate the hard questions in life and it can lead to a relationship breakdown before it even gets started.
If an empathic person is looking for someone to share their hopes and dreams with, they might be disappointed to find that most people are creatures of habit and automation.
2) Empaths are Honest
They can’t hold anything back, even when they know it will cost them a relationship.
People who are strongly rooted in their beliefs are clear about what they want in life, which can cause problems for a person who just wants to settle down with the status quo.
3) Empaths Know What They Want
Are you still wondering what you want to be when you grow up? Empaths aren’t.
They have a clear vision of where they are going and how they are going to get there and often times, when people get in their way, it can lead to a road of singledom.
Getting where they want to go is important and a priority for an empath.
4) Empaths Want Empathic Partners
Good luck with that. They want meaningful relationships that have many levels of complexity. It’s hard for the average person to buy into that and adopt it as their mantra.
If a person is looking for a one night stand, empathic people should not be their target.
5) Intimacy is a Given
Empaths are not afraid to let you see her in a vulnerable state. This is hard for most people to deal with sometimes and it can cause them to spend more time alone than they might have anticipated; but when they find the person who gets them, it will click instantly.
6) Empaths See Through the Crap
People who suffer from self-esteem issues and confidence issues don’t hold their own well with empathic women.
Because they are so in touch with their own feelings and state of being in the world, they can pick out the people who are imposters and struggling to find their way.
Empaths like to build themselves up with people who are like-minded, not take on a project.
7) Empaths Like Consistency
Don’t try to pick up an empathic person if you aren’t going to call them the next day. Empaths like routine and consistent behavior to develop deep and meaningful relationships. They hate people who bail and don’t follow through on their promises.
8) Empaths are Intense
There’s no way around it: empaths have a lot of intensity. And they aren’t making any apologies about it; you either get on board with what they’ve got going on, or you move on. It’s plain and simple for an empath.
9) Empaths Go All In
When you find yourself being loved by an empath, you better return the feelings mutually.
They don’t know how to turn it off and on. They set their sights on what they want and need and hold on tight once it becomes theirs.
This can scare a lot of people away before a relationship even gets going.
10) Empaths are Independent
You should know that an empathic woman won’t wait around for a person to get their business together so they can be together.
Empaths don’t need a person to solidify their place in the world and while that might mean they’re single for much longer than they had hoped, they are okay with their choices and stand by them so they can have the love they’ve always wanted.
4 Ways Empaths Can Be in Successful Serious Relationships
However, being an empath doesn’t mean you are doomed to walk the world alone. Sure, you may need to find someone who understands that you need more time alone than with someone special.
While it might mean sitting down with your special someone and explaining to them the in’s and out’s of being an empath, it could prove a worthwhile venture if you want to be in a relationship.
Empaths are people who feel so deeply that others can’t often handle being around them, especially when they are right in the middle of an emotional state.
Empaths feel emotions in a much different way than the rest of us, and that can mean that being in a relationship with an empath is often exhausting for the person who is not an empath. If you dream of being in a meaningful relationship as an empath, here’s how you can do it.
1) Find Someone Who is the Exact Opposite of You and Likes That
Humans continue to make major mistakes when it comes to choosing their life partners. Many people try to find someone who is just like them, but if empaths date other empaths, you end up with a relationship that consists of two people who never see each other because they need so much time to process their thoughts and feelings that they can’t ever come together to be a good couple.
For empaths, the answer to a successful relationship is found in the opposite ideals. Dating someone who is high energy and doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about their feelings might be just the balance you need to find a successful relationship and make it work.
2) Take the Time You Need
Empaths are really tuned into their own needs and they know what they have to do to enjoy their days on earth. A lot of people, especially people who are not tuned into their emotions and thoughts, have no idea how to spend their time, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed.
If you want to have a successful relationship, you need to commit to not compromising on your “me time” because you need that time to process your day, thoughts, and feelings. The person you choose to be with needs to understand these needs as well and should encourage you to take that time as you need it.
3) Journal and Don’t Judge
It’s sometimes hard for empaths to believe that other people do not feel as deeply as they feel. It’s not that other people can’t feel like that, but many people don’t want to feel so intensely on a regular basis.
Instead of passing judgement on people who can’t or don’t want to feel the way you do, take to your journal to work through your thoughts about this and reserve your judgement.
After all, you wouldn’t want someone passing judgement on you because of how deeply you feel, right? So don’t pass the buck in the other direction. It’s important that you set the standard for reciprocal respect when it comes to being an empath.
You might find that you have created the perfect environment for a new relationship when you have your feelings and thoughts in order.
4) Find Someone Who is Highly Sensitive
There is a real difference between being an empath and being highly sensitive. This idea of high sensitivity is newer than empath ideals, but the two are a good compliment to one another because someone who is highly sensitive might not have the wherewithal or the desire to manage their emotions and feelings because they become so overwhelmed by them.
If you find yourself in the presence of such a person, your empathic ways will do them a world of good. You might find that you create a sense of independence and co-dependence that can only exist when one person gets something from another person in such a way that they can’t get that same thing from someone else.
While empathic ways are not as uncommon as they used to be, finding the right combination of empathic and high sensitive ways can take time. It might be worth exploring a relationship with someone like this because you can offer one another a balance that is hard to achieve otherwise or with other people like you.
Whether you’ve known for years you were an empath or you just found out, it’s important that you figure out how to navigate relationships as an empath so that you don’t end up with someone just like you – that’s not the ideal situation for an empath. You want to strive for a unique balance and a sense of giving and taking that provides you with a fulfilling relationship now and into the future.