How to move past regret when you're stuck in the past

(Jessica Carpenter) #1

Read the full article here:

Maybe you’ve made a mistake. It’s a big one that hurt you or your loved ones. Now, you’re drowning in regret. You may be saying, “I don’t know how to move past regret.” Everyone experiences regret in life. Life’s too short to have regrets, but that doesn’t stop them from coming. When the regrets do…

(Kate Howelle) #2

I’m Kate, and i’m wallowing myself in regret. It’s annoying but it’s true that i don’t know what to do to move past what i did. It’s haunting me, making me guilty and regretted. Everyday i wake up and ask myself why i did that or i by accident am reminded of it by hearing the voices or seeing similar scenes.
I’m struggling everyday to figure out the way to get over my mistake, eventhough, it has no consequence so far and no one knows about it, except 1 person, who can be considered my “partner in a crime”, but for sure it’s not a crime, just the way i express.

(system) #3

(Bill Ames) #4

You can not go back, no one gets a do over. You only have a path to the future. Regrets have no meaning other than a lesson learned. You will move past by focusing only on what in life lies ahead of you. When you go to bed each night you do not wake up in the past. As you wake up in the future you must focus all your thoughts on the new day. Your past, your regrets are only in your mind and you have full control of that, use it.

(Justin Brown) #5

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much with regret, @katehowelle. I know it can be really difficult and consuming when you feel regret. I’ve been through this myself where I so desperately regreted doing something.

Now that time has passed I can see that wallowing in regret was counterproductive. I think the steps shared in the article are very useful. Do you find them helpful?

(Kate Howelle) #6

Thank you spending time replying me.
I don’t know i feel regreted and guilty but then i did again. I don’t know what to do now?
I’m afraid that i’ll be mentally crazy. I don’t dare to share it, i’m writing here because i know no one here knows who i am, i’m so embarrassed and feel ashamed

Thanks, hixz

(Bill Ames) #7

You have nothing to feel bad about sharing, there are no judges here. It is difficult you know when you ask someone for directions to a place and all they want to know is why you wish to go there. It is often a lot more efficient to ask for something you need. Forgiveness? I am sure there are those who can do this but such power is not often encountered. Perhaps you need something but do not know where to find it? That should be manageable, few things can remain hidden from a questioning mind. Tell us your needs, even doing that will help you.

(Jessica Carpenter) #8

Hi, Kate. I’m sorry to hear about the regret that you’re experiencing. It’s an emotion that’s really tough to deal with. Sometimes we feel so deeply because what happened is important to us. While I don’t know what you’re struggling with, I can tell you that we all experience regret, and I’ve been there myself.

Many times, it can take awhile before you experience some “relief.” Regret may not go away overnight, but it can be helpful to try the steps in the article and see where they take you.

(Kate Howelle) #9

What i need to do is to focus on finishing my internship, graduating and finding a job after all my hard attempts so far, but i can’t focus on it. I need not to see what reminds me of my mistake, i need to be brave to move out to a new place but it’s unwise to do it now because i know i need to finish what i started: studying, working. I still do thing i feel guilty because i was so lonely here in a new country, may be it helps me fill up my lonely gap. I don’t know. I’m’s a shame if i’m using loneliness as an excuse for what i did. I’m mature enough to know what i’m doing. I wanted it, then i did it, then i felt regretted but still wanted and did it again. I can’t control myself. Even i tried, i succeeded sometimes but then i lost myself

(Bill Ames) #10

Tell us more so we can help.