With the help of antidepressants, I could just set my mind into whatever I want to do and the “what-if’s” will not block my way. It’s like “the hell do I care” attitude. But the downside is it makes me sleepy and sluggish. I still need an anti-ADHD drug to couple it with the antidepressant I’m already taking to make me more focused and undistracted. I have already contacted the Amen Clinic for SPECT Scan of my brain, to see what’s going on inside the wirings of my brain. I do have a hard time with Filipino pyschiatrists as they neither know nor care about ADHD. If doctors themselves dismiss it, how much more the ordinary lay person?
What other plans do I have in store for me? I’m still hell bent in creating my own “smart farm” complete with John Deere tractors, AI, Drones, Machine Learning, Automated and Driverless tractors. I’m planning to get diplomatic passport making me an ambassador or diplomat of a country. I also plan to buy a soccer team in Spain. I’ve already contacted ESADE in Barcelona and they’re very much willing to help me. I plan to invest in gas stations as they are totally passive income. I can be a digital nomad in Bali and just trade from my laptop.
Antidepressants make me stronger as a person because I become less conscious of what others have to say to me. The drug is addicting not because it gives me high, but because it gives me that numb feeling. Whenever I’m depressed, I could feel the heat in my arms. And all the existential questions spring up in my head. With no emotions to contend with, I could just focus on what I want to accomplish next.