My name is Devin, and Im not sure of who I am

(Devin Apgar) #1

Just recently, as of last night I realised and it was pointed out that I am an Empath.
I had a very traumatic thing happen, my health seriously declined and I was in the Emergency room.
my friend told me to seek out help in the Empath world to find myself, so here I am
where ever here is, and whoever I may be.

(Bill Ames) #2

I discovered this ability in one of the early original Star Trek episodes. It was a great burden for the character. There is so much in the world one can feel and if these emotions are close to you it is difficult to ignore. Who you are is a difficult question. Are you the collection of atoms that make up your physical body or are you the connections between these atoms? It is likely both and you need to decide how you want to use what you have. How may we be of help?

(Mechelle Bowles) #3

Welcome Devin.
I’m also new here & am an empath - it’s not easy & I constantly have to do little rituals to protect my energy, & stay grounded.
I’m here if you wanna chat…
Would love to hear more bout your story… how & why your health took a dive. Our physical state often a manifestation of the internal- mind/emotions.

(Devin Apgar) #4

Well, let me begin with what I do.
I have been in EMS for the last 5 years. I’ve been in school the last 4 of those years bettering myself to the paramedic level. Oct 2017 I ran a call where an 11 yo girl shot herself in the head. And my whole world fell apart.
My marriage failed, I failed my children. I left my husband in search of something more that could sustain my happiness. I was alone with my kids for about a year and basically everything took shape.
I came down with a panic disorder where I would just go into tachycardia and shortness of breath for no reason. I couldn’t control it. husband and I worked us out after getting a signature away from divorce. In January 2019 I was drugged by someone I trusted and I totalled my car and 2 others and i dont remember any of it. I was charged with DUI failure to yield. I resisted arrest and fought the officer in the process and that was a felony charge. So now I cant get a job until its cleared up. Since September 2018 husband and I were working us out We moved back in together in June 2019 and since, I’ve been at home unable to get a job because I cant seem to have drive to do anything. My whole body hurts, I know I’m depressed. Everyday is either better or worse. there is no in between. I didnt know anything about empaths until my best friend told me that she was.
I have no friends, I used to be super outgoing and fun and happy but when I’m around certain people I cant find me.
Well, sorry that’s so long. But what led me to all this which ended up in the ER.
I had the waves of tachycardia again. My pulse went into SVT. Rates in the 200’s. My blood pressure dropped 60/30s (normal is 120/80) the hospital gave me potassium because it was low.
I’m an other wise healthy 32 year old with 3 teenage boys. They’re 11. 12 and 13. My 12 year old just recently told me he can see dead people.
Anyway, my new friend asked me a lot of questions before I had the er trip. That made a lot. I mean a LOT of sense. And reading up on everything i fit the shoe better than anything I’ve ever felt.
Hubby doesn’t believe in any of this so I’m feeling more alone than ever.

Thanks for taking the time, if you’ve made it this far.

(Devin Apgar) #5

Let me not forget to add, when I was in the ER. I was in a “hallway” bed, and a code came in. I heard the whole code laying there unable to move. I prayed for them. And I heard their time of death.
I never go to the ER as a patient.
And I felt them. Die

(Bill Ames) #6

This is what you are now, your situation. What do you want going forward? It is not likely you can do that by yourself, it will take others. They may not be really involved with your life and situation but they will be aware, they will be able to help. You need to look for these people, they do exist and may appear at unexpected times and places. Start now thinking about them. They may be just a person that gives you a smile as you pass them in the grocery store isle. Tell us, what is important to you that is also important?