What no one will tell fat women... So I will

(system) #1

Originally published at https://ideapod.com/what-no-one-will-tell-fat-women-so-i-will/

There’s one thing I’ve always wanted to tell fat women, but I’ve never had the balls to do it.

So here it is, I freely admit to being wrong for the majority of my life….

But I’m way more attracted to you than I’ve ever let on…and it doesn’t have anything to do with physical appearance.

It has to do with personality.

Call me crazy, but I think fat women are in general nicer, funnier and more interesting.

Of course, I’m not suggesting that all fat people are funny and all beautiful people are boring.

But I think there’s a correlation, as those that are heavier have had to work harder on their personalities for longer.

Let’s face it, as teenagers most of us were attracted to the beautiful. We wanted to date them and hang around them.

I remember, as a 14 year-old, being struck with awe as I sat behind the most popular girl in Maths class.

She was extraordinary: Brunette, dark-eyed, petite but somehow still perky.

She couldn’t walk anywhere without a buzz around her.

Every guy wanted her.

But now? No thanks.

There’s a theory that fat girls have better personalities.

Why? Because those who weren’t blessed with beauty end up spending more time on their own and quickly realise that funny – as well as being interesting and kind – is their ticket to making friends.

Not to mention that some kind of drive is activated that makes them want to prove everyone wrong.

The fact is, most beautiful women don’t have to try so hard to impress others.

But at a certain point in life, that shifts.

Overweight people are more likely to be happy then skinny ones, according to research.

Carrying extra weight is usually associated with heart disease, diabetes and a range of other health risks.

But there’s a benefit.

A recent study has found that people who are classified as fat are more likely to lead happier lives.

The research was published in the International Journal of Epidemiology and was conducted by a group of scientists at the University of Bristol.

The group used PHESANT (PHEnome Scan ANalysis Tool) to perform automated phenome scans in the UK Biobank.

The Biobank is a data warehouse containing the genetic data of 500,000 men and women in the UK ranging in age from 37 to 73.

They analyzed the data and came to a number of conclusions about the relationship between people’s body mass index (BMI) and their health.

This included the fact that people with higher BMI are more likely to have higher blood pressure, suffer from diabetes and go through puberty at an earlier age.

But there was one additional finding that was surprising.

They found that people who are overweight generally have a calmer state of mind.

Here’s what the researchers stated:

“We also detected a number of potentially causal associations that were previously unknown.

“For example, participants with a genetic propensity to higher BMI were less likely to perceive themselves as a nervous person or to call themselves tense or ‘highly strung’.”

Dana Nicholls is head of eating disorders at the Royal College of Psychiatrists and explained how eating patterns can have an effect on mental make-up:

“We know that if someone is nutritionally compromised that affects their ability to regulate their emotions,” she told The Times.

“It doesn’t surprise me in that sense that there would be a direct link, but I think it’s a really interesting study.”

Closing thoughts.

I’m 28 now and have quickly realized that life is too short to spend it with someone who is boring.

I want to laugh, have deep conversations and be thrilled with life. I also want to be around people with a calm and balanced state of mind.

And if you’re fat, then for me, it’s a solid indication there’s more to you than most skinny girls can offer.

Do you agree? Do fat women generally have better personalities? Let us know in the comments.

(Suzie M) #2

Why do you keep referring to thinner people as beautiful, alluding to or rather bluntly stating that bigger women are merely funny and possess eclectic personalities- however they cannot be beautiful too? I think your article is great but isolating beauty from bigger women diminishes your point gravely!

(system) #3

(Bill Ames) #4

I have often wondered why some people are very overweight. Was it their choice, income, education, genetics, peer pressure or their lifestyle or social environment? It could be a combination of all. It is unanimously agreed that being overweight is unhealthy. People willingly do things to their bodies that are not good for them; smoking is one example. Perhaps overweight people have more fun and can tolerate the things in life that happen to people. Do obese people accept the responsibility for the burden they may put on society, their family, and friends? I have heard there are TV shows about obese people trying to lose weight. I know of no programs where they show healthy people attempting to get fat, our society seems not to want to go down that path. You can not ask a person why they are fat. You never tell a fat person they are looking good. When overweight people are looking for a partner, do they look for others with the same makeup? Are obese people happy?

(Chris Lagos) #5

I’ve been obese for about 20 years, always trying some weight loss thing or other. I lost 85 lbs on p90x about 7 years ago then gained it back.
Last year, a friend asked me if I wanted to lose weight, I said "of course " , but then I remembered something Jordan Peterson said, in essence he said that we are not transparent to ourselves at all, that what we believe can only be ascertained by an analysis of our actions.
When that hit me, I realized that I must not want to lose weight. So that night, I asked myself out loud if I wanted to lose weight, and genuinely wanted a response. The response came immediately, I didn’t want to lose weight because I needed to be bigger than I was due to defense issues from childhood.
That’s primarily why I spent most of my youth in martial arts. I’m working through it and am currently working on an intermittent fasting diet.
I know that it’s a good thing that there are many different body types for many different reasons, myself, I ask for health and move towards it . I work with masonry, it’s a labor intensive field and have always maintained strength, and endurance so I’d say obese people are definitely capable as anyone and have no need to apologise, but for me, I definitely want to lose weight now for health.

(ACD) #6

Excellent. Very important. Avoid processed foods. Focus on fresh, whole foods. Raise heart rate for thirty minutes daily.

(Justin Brown) #7

It’s interesting that you came to this level of self-awareness. I completely agree about the importance of looking at our actions as opposed to what we say we want to do.

I remember publishing this article about 16 months ago:

In it there’s a section about some findings about people putting weight on as a defence mechanism against childhood trauma. Very in line with what you’re saying.

(Chris Lagos) #8

I think self awareness isn’t hidden to anybody, but covered up by images of ourselves that we want to be for many different reasons. We create false identities all the time, I’m a libertarian , I’m a die hard Giants fan, or I’m nationality based identity, or I’m a car guy, these labels can get sticky if they cover up your identity, maybe we want it covered, that’s certainly a possibility.

(Bill Ames) #9

As I work more on my science fiction screenplay I find myself viewing humanity from the perspective of my aliens. In a nutshell, they live forever and can only die by choice or accident. They are a race that is 4 billion years old so their technology is so far advanced humanity has no clue what is happening. Their basic rule is “do no harm.” So I am often looking at humanity from their perspective. You can get an idea what that is like, just look at your cat. The aliens see that all the problems humanity experiences is not important in the great scheme of things. They also see that humanity has a total turnover ever 120 years or so. My aliens (or humanities God) could solve all problems but what would we have then? What is a perfect world? A perfect life? A perfect result? If today everyone of our 7 billion had their issues addressed could that be done without making others issues worse? If we could see a post of the individual problems of each of the worlds 7 billion would we read, care, do anything? Your cat would probably be better off if your income was a thousand times greater, what do they do to make that happen? Humanity has so many issues, it will take many years to discover the technology by which these problems will be solved. Each of us must contribute to the solution, not the problem.

(ACD) #10

They care only for small prey which they tear to shreds or bring to you as a token of their “respect.” The rest is of no interest to cats other than scratching behind the ears.

(Fran Dvorak) #11

We have a standard of beauty in our culture which is primarily based on being thin. For this reason, people will make themselves miserable to pursue that ideal, they will fight their very nature to try to get there. After living most of my adult life in a large city, my husband and I moved to an upscale suburb for the schools for our daughter. I was so struck by the beauty of the town-- sucker! I quickly came to realize that there was a perverse equation for status-- the women with the largest homes and the smallest clothing sizes ‘ruled’. They were, to a person, competitive and anxious-- self admittedly so. They all privately bemoaned the stress of living in such a demanding fishbowl of a community, and they never let their guard down. There was a night we went to a party, the food was incredible, the desserts even more so…and none of the women ate any of it. I stood there inhaling the most incredible cookies I’d ever had, and realized I was the only one enjoying them. And that’s the key realization-- I was enjoying myself, and they were not. They had cooked that wonderful food but wouldn’t eat it-- literally, to my thinking, like torture.
I’m not particularly funny, as this article implies heavier women are–I’m just very honest and real, and because I don’t define myself by my looks, I don’t define others that way either. So I’m very accepting and inclusive and open minded. Maybe those are the qualities the articles is really getting at, if the writer had given it a bit deeper thought.

(Michelle Johnson) #12

2 of my family members who were not overweight but stressed about their weight had an overweight daughter and they nagged her constantly. Making her depressed. I told them to stop it. Her mother said well I just want her to be happy. I told her I’m heavier than you and I am way happier with my body than you are about yours. She can have a happy life being overweight. Then she said I just want her to be healthy. I said she can be healthy too. She needs to watch her blood pressure and get her A1C checked quite often. She’s not that big y’all. And she is really tall. She’s just fine.